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Hello!
I am considering registering for personalized china, crystal and silverware. Where can you recommend I find an upscale retail shop that has a bridal registry specializing in personalizing giftware? Thanks,
Susan

Dear Susan,
I am unaware of what state you are in but I suggest you go to the website http://www.weddingexperts.com and look under the stores that are registries.

Amy Mader

I was wondering if you have every heard of Royal Prestige products (a health system cookware). I attended a seminar they had invited me to. They said that they received my phone number off of a bridal registration entry form from a show. I have never heard of the product before and could not find very much information on the company on the internet. I found their web page and that of the parent company West Bend, but no consumer reports or anything related to their cookware. I want to know if it is all a scam. Please reply as soon as possible.

Thank you.
Jane Tanghongs

Dear Jane,
Unfortunately, I am unaware of this company that you are speaking of. I would suggest contacting the better business bureau and find out more about them.
Good Luck,
Amy Mader

Dear Amy,
I am at my wits end trying to find the right look for my wedding party. Perharps you could help me. My dress is informal and I want my attendants to complement me. My gown is ivory, and ankle length with vertical pleating across the chest and sleaves and a square neckline. My wedding date is Oct. 9, 1999. I have three girls. My maid of honor is blonde with brown eyes and a size 8. One bridemaid is fair skinned with dark brown hair and blue eyes and a size 22 or 24, the other is also fair skinned with dark brown/black hair and she has brown eyes. She is between a size 3 or 5. What colors would best suit their coloring and the season? And what designers could I find in that right size range? I was leaning toward brown velvet, but is October to early for velvet?

Tanks for listening,
Ternisha

Dear Ternisha,
The following designers you should check out... Bill Levkoff, Watters and Watters and Alfred Angelo. The colors are entirely up to you. You will need to take your bridesmaids to the stores and have them try on different colors to see what they look good in. Most bridesmaids tend to like darker colors (navy, burgundy, huntergreen and black) because they feel slimmer.You will need to order your dresses by February of 1999, This will ensure that your dresses will be in on time and that if there is a mistake, there will be time to rectify it. October is not too soon to wear velvet.

Sincerely,
Amy Mader

Amy,
We will be having two wedding receptions for our wedding. The main one will be in my home town where the ceremony will take place. The second one, about a week later, will be held in the groom's home town. This is about two hours away. My question is who pays for the second reception.

Thanks,
Becca

Dear Becca,
The second reception should be hosted and paid for by the grooms family. Otherwise, invite the guests from the groom's home town to the first reception and maybe they will make a trip.

Thank you,
Amy Mader

I will be addressing the invitations to my daughter's wedding very shortly; while I intend to hand address the inner invelopes, I would very much like to address the outer envelopes on the computer using a very lovely script font (it actually matches the return address on the envelope flaps that the invitation company printed). We have a laser printer. This will take more time than addressing the outer envelopes by hand, but I think it will look better. Is this okay? With so many individuals doing their own invitations on computers these days, it doesn't seem wrong to me to use the computer to address outer envelopes, as long as it's elegant looking. Your input is greatly appreciated.

Maureen

Dear Maureen,
Although it may be easier to address the outer envelope on the computer, traditional etiquette still holds firm with all invitations must be addressed by hand. However, addressing on the computer is becoming popular with most brides. If you are going to address the outer envelope, you must be consistent and address the inner envelope on the computer as well.

Sincerely,
Amy Mader

I would like to have a June wedding. Here's my situation. I am on a budget. I and my fiancee both have two kids. This will be our first marriage. Is there possibility to have a small but elegant church wedding with reception at the church? I don't have to have a long gown. I can't remember the name of the gown's length (ballarina maybe???) Is it rude or polite to let people know that it will be small?? Any suggestions or ideas for a small wedding. I know money will have to be spent. It is August now. Or should I postpone it until a later month or elope??? I am working on a wedding theme. Any suggestion ideas would help.

Vanetta

Dear Vanetta,
You may have any wedding that you would like. It is not necessary for you to tell the guests that you are having a small wedding unless you are attempting to limit the guest list. There is nothing wrong with a small intimate wedding. A theme should reflect the two of you as a couple. Think of things that you and your future husband have in common and a theme will come to you. I would not postpone it or elope. A wedding can be planned on a budget, you will just need to do a lot of research to find the most inexpensive route. You will need to begin now so that your options are open. Most wedding vendors will respect your budget and give you the most value for your dollar. I would also suggest your purchase and read the book "Weddings for Dummies". This will provide you with suggestions on how to plan your wedding and I think it is a very educational book for brides to read before they plan their wedding. It may be found at Barnes and Noble or most bookstores.

Best of Luck,
Amy Mader

I am in search for a cake topper. I just can't seem to find anything I like. Can you help me? Also, any suggestions to do something creative to make our wedding memorable?

I appreciate anything you can do.
Thanks.>
Rita

Dear Rita,
Have you looked at any of the Lladro figurines for your cake top? They are beautiful keepsakes and may be found in most fine jewelery stores. You may also decide that you would like to just have fresh flowers or gum paste flowers on your cake. You should talk to your baker and ask what would work best on your cake. I would suggest that you read the Wedding Wire Tips and Information sections to locate creative ideas for your wedding. It is most important that your creative memories are a collage to you and your future husbands personality. Think of things that you and your future husband like to do and elaborate on it.

Good Luck,
Amy Mader

My fiance' has 6 best friends and wants them all to be a part of our wedding. I only have my best friend and sister that I feel close enough to have in my wedding. He has 1 best man, 3 groomsmen and his other 2 friends will be our ushers. I am only having my sister be my MOH and my best friend be my bridesmaid. I have other friends but none that are that close to me. Do you think it will look weird that he has more people on his side? Any suggestions?

Thanks!!!
Brooke

Dear Brooke,
It will not look weird to have additional men walking. I would suggest that you have 2 men walk with each girl down the aisle (one on each side) for the processional and the recessional. Or, you may have the girls each walk with one man and have two men walk next to eachother. The choice is up to you.

Best Wishes,
Amy Mader

Hi Amy,
What is the proper etiquette for receiving monetary envelopes at the wedding reception? Who should carry the moneybag? Do you know the rationale behind this custom?

Thanks,
Gayle

Dear Gayle,
You should have a box decorated and designated for these cards at the reception. Some brides like to use an antique birdcage, wedding mailbox or a wedding chapel structure to place their cards in. After the card is opened, you will sendout a thank you to the guest. It is just like receiving a regular store gift. Most guests are tending to give money instead of a gift. The box should be located on the gift table. The money bag is used for the dollar dance which is mostly associated with a tradition in Poland many years ago. However, many countries have developed their own version of the dollar dance. The money bag is held by the maid of honor and the guests stand in line to dance with the bride and groom and pay a dollar (or more in some cases). Traditionally, this money was meant as a dowry for the brides to give to their husbands if their fathers did not have one. Now, it is a nice way for the guests to dance with the bride and groom and the bride and groom have a little money to begin their life together. Some protest the use of this custom (for lack of knowledge) and think that it is just asking guests for money, however, when done appropriately, it really is fun to do.

Thank you,
Amy Mader

Amy,
My son (age 42) is getting remarried soon (early Sept) to a lovely lady - also married once before. They will also be transferred to the East Coast within the month. My problem: the best man wants to insert the following note with each invitation: In lieu of other gifts, the bride and groom would appreciate gifts given to their account at (un-named furniture store - nationwide) or you may donate to their new house down payment" I find this extremely "tacky", if not a downright social faux pas. May I hear your opinion please?

Thanks from Prescott!

Dear Prescott,
This is a downright social wedding faux pas!!! This not only is implying that the guests have to purchase a gift...(eventhough most will anyway, they will take offense to it being written) but it is telling the guests what they have to give. I would suggest that the bride and groom register at their special stores and allow the gifts to be purchased according to the guests choice. Most guests tend to give money nowadays but the bride and groom will need to have items to put into this house!! Guests will probably also know at the time of the wedding that the bride and groom will be moving and will give them money as a gift. Do not insult your guest's intelligence and etiquette.

Thank you,
Amy Mader

I have one week to find this. we are looking for the meaning of a penny for the bride. We have one week to find it. I was told there was a poem or story, that explained what the penny stood for. Could you please help?

Thank you!

Dear CM,
The poem that you are looking for is actually for a sixpence coin. The tradition came from England and it goes like this:
Something old,
Something new,
Something borrowed,
Something blue,
And a lucky sixpence for your shoe.

Some brides do not find a sixpence, therefore, they are replacing it with a penny. The sixpence is placed in your shoe, however, due to comfort reasons, brides tend to tape it to the sole under the arch of their bridal shoe. This is the tradition that I know of. If you hear of anything different, I would be interested in learning about it.

Thank you,
Amy Mader

My wedding is rapidly approaching, and I am awkward in high heels. So after the ceremony, when we arrive at the hall I was planning to wear a pair of satin ballet slippers. After talking to my bridesmaids they want to do the same. I guess I am buying them all matching slippers. Do you think that will be to informal looking for a wedding or should we all be comfortable? What's your opinion?

Dear Athena,
I would suggest that you change into the slippers after all the formal photos have been shot (where your feet will show in the photos). I think that you should keep your formal shoes on at least through the cake cutting and first dance. After that, GO COMFORTABLE.

Thank you,
Amy Mader

I have a question regarding the reception at a location away from the ceremony. While final pictures are being taken at Church, the guests will proceed to reception site. We plan to serve hordeourves & wine. Should guest wait for bride & groom or serve themselves upon arrival. Don't plan to have a receiving line. Dance to follow. Should cake cutting & toasts be done as soon as b & g arrive?

Please let us know your suggestions.

Dear Pat,
If you are having a cocktail reception, the guests may start without the bride and groom if a dinner will be served afterwards. Otherwise, the guests should wait until the bride and groom arrive to the reception. The toasts should be done when the bride and groom arrive. The cake should be cut right before the first dance. The bride and groom will share the cake and then go onto thier first dance. You may choose to have the toasts done right before the cutting of the cake, however, I would suggest that it gets done when the bride and groom arrive.

Thank you,
Amy Mader

Amy,
My question is more about the engagement than the wedding. When I propose, on which finger should the ring be placed? The ring finger of the right hand or the left hand? I've always believed it should be the right hand and then after the wedding she can move it to the left hand.

Thank you for your help,
David

Dear David,
The engagement ring should be placed on the left hand ring finger. This finger is the one which leads to the heart. However, on the wedding day, the bride will wear the engagement ring on the right hand ring finger and then switch it over to the left hand after she has her band put on.

Thank you,
Amy Mader

I am getting married in less than 2 weeks, it still seems too far away!! I have really enjoyed reading your questions and answer page, and have a question of my own: My fiance and I are basically eloping and are having a civil ceremony, after which we've reserved a hotel suite. I want to have a cake and flowers, etc, delivered to the room to recreate a "wedding" scene just for the two of us. Who (what is their title?) can I contact at the hotel to help with these arrangements and what type of tip (is this proper?) should be extended? Thanks very much for any advice you can give me.

Mendy

Dear Mendy,
Your should contact the hotel and ask for the wedding coordinator, banquet coordinator or the director of catering. Each hotel is different, but one of these employees will be able to help you. A twenty percent gratuity is standard in the wedding industry.

Congratulations,
Amy Mader

Looking for the true tradition behind grooms cake and its significance at a wedding. I remember attending a wedding some time ago and was given a piece of grooms cake to take home with a note to do something to bring the bride and groom good luck. Do you know what the tradition is and if so can you give me some information regarding this tradition.

Dear Mary,
The grooms cake is often a rich fruit cake topped with marzipan and white icing (the traditional wedding cake of England and Ireland) however, now it is the favorite cake flavor of the groom and ususally has chocolate frosting with chocolated covered strawberries on it.The groom's cake either served at the reception along with the brides cake or packed in boxes for the guests to take home - a way to share the couples good fortune and the sweetness of married life. Custom holds that single guests who put a sliver of groom's cake under their pillows that night will dream of their future spouses.

Thank you,
Amy Mader

Hello,
I am getting married a month from today! Someone suggested to me that instead of people clinking silverware against glasses at the reception (for us to kiss) that we put place cards on the table asking guests to sing to summon us to kiss. Have you heard of this? My main concern is creating a little poem to put on the place cards. Do you have any suggestions??????? My sincere thank you in advance.

Roni

Dear Roni,
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I have done the "singing kiss" at quite a few weddings. It is a very fun thing to do and guests can be quite entertaining. Instead of creating a little poem, may I suggest that you provide a list of songs with the word LOVE in them for the guests to use. At the top of these sheets you may put "If you want to see a kiss, you must sing a song with the word love in it". I would suggest that you have your deejay or band MC announce what you are doing and have the wedding party or parents begin the games. It may also be helpful for you (if you have the time) to write out the words on the paper so your guests may have some idea of what to do. It is not necessary for the entire song to be sung, just up until the part where the word love is. Some song titles for you may be:

I Got You Babe, Sonny and Cher
Love Shack, B52's
I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston
Can't Help Falling in Love, Elvis Presley
Friday I'm in Love, (not sure of the artist)
I Love You, You Love Me, The Barney Song
Love Boat Theme
Love Will Lead You Back, Taylor Dane
Love Stinks
The Water is Wide, James Taylor

These are some songs to give you an idea.
Best Wishes to you and your fiancee on your wedding.

Amy Mader

Thank you so much for answering my question so promptly. I have emailed other wedding web sights and got no response. I just have one more question concerning my wedding. I plan to wear opera length gloves for the ceremony and during the reception. I'm wondering if it is proper ettiquette to leave my gloves on while I eat or should I take them off before the buffet and then put them back on (such a hassle) for the dancing? I have seen in old movies where the ladies just slid there hands out of the wrist opening and folded the hand part of the glove back onto the arm while eating...is this ok or will it look too weird?

Thanks again,
Shannon Binder

Dear Shannon,
You will need to take off your gloves while eating. Do not keep them on. You may decide to put them on for the dance, but most brides leave them off for the evening. I would not fold the glove back because I think that it will look weird and it will be uncomfortable to manuver with dinner.

Amy Mader

Are there any alternatives to having a flower girl and ring bearer? My fiance and I don't have anyone young enough to fill either roll.

Dear Stephanie,
It is not necessary for you to have flowergirl or ringbearer. You may have your honor attendants carry the rings (which they usually do and there are fake ones on the pillow).

Best Wishes,
Amy Mader

Dear Amy,
I am going to be the Maid of Honour at my sister's wedding in August and I was wondering if you could help me out. She is only going to have a small wedding about 100 people of close family and friends. I really wanted to do or say something special to her about what an amazing sister she has been to me and I just can't seem to find the words. Maybe you could help me? I think this has got to be the hardest job ever. Do you know of any sister poems or sayings? Could you please write me back. Also I don't have a lot of money. What is something I could give her that wouldn't be too expensive?

Thank You Immensely,
Cathy

Dear Cathy,
These types of questions are really difficult to answer at times. First and foremost, I would suggest purchasing the book "Wedding Toasts and Speeches" by Jo Packham. This book has some very quaint and appropriate poems, advice and proverbs that you may use to desciribe your relationship with your sister. The cost of the book is $6.00 and I found my copy at Barnes and Noble book store. I was in the same position you were recently (except it was my best friend of 23 years). You will be amazed at how the words will flow. When I was giving my toast, I had one completely written out and I had put alot of thought into it. I thought to myself "this will not be difficult because I speak in front of large groups of people and this will be no different". However, I began my toast and all was going well until I looked at my friend and she began to cry. Game Over. I totally forgot what my toast was and spoke from the heart. I thought it was horrible, but it was not that bad when I watched the video. I talked about the following things. My friends effect on me as a person, how we experienced things together, how we have developed a special friendship which was able to last for 23 years and then I spoke about the future and how I look forward to our continued friendship with our spouses and future children. It may seem scary to find the right words, but your sister will know what you mean. Just relax and let your words come from inside.

Best of Luck,
Amy Mader

At what point during the reception do the bride and groom intertwine their arms and drink from their champagne goblets? Is it when they are being toasted by others, toasting each other, or after cutting the cake? Please help!

Thanks, Shannon and Shawn

Dear Shannon and Shawn,
The intertwining of the arms does not have to be done at a wedding. Some bridal couples are concerned about spilling the champagne. However, it is traditionally done after the cutting of the cake. It may be done at any other time, but most do it after the cake cutting.

Best of Luck,
Amy Mader

Dear Amy,
I am getting married in a little less than a month and I have pretty much everything organized. I was just curious about the toasts. What is the order was and what the content was. If you can get back to me as soon as possible it would be great.

Thanks,
Cassie Potter

Dear Cassie,
The order of the toasts are: Best Man, Maid of Honor, Brides family (ususally father), Grooms family and anyone else may toast after this. As far as the content, it may be anything that the person giving the toast would like it to be. First and foremost, it should thank all the guests for attending and then give well wishes to the bride and groom. for more toasting ideas, please refer to www.weddingwire.com, click on Tips and Information, click on Reception Toasts.

Amy Mader

Hi Amy,
Thanks for the early answer, that was so fast. I'm glad there is someone out there who cares. I need someone to play a saxophone during the ceremony while my fiance and I light the unity candle. My question is do you know of someone, in a band or alone, who can do that for a small price? I live in Metairie, New Orleans. We eave a friend, who sings, coming in from England for the weding. Please it would really mean a lot to me if you would recommend someone and/or share other ideas.

Thanks,
Toni

Dear Toni,
I am unaware of anyone in your specific area who may do this service for you. However, you should contact music stores or a local university or high school music department and someone should be able to give you a name of a musician.

Good Luck,
Amy Mader

AM IN MY BEST FRIENDS WEDDING IN OCT. AND SHE HAS A PROBLEM!! SHE WAS BOOKED FOR A BEAUTIFUL PLANTATION HERE IN LOUISIANA- PRICES GOT CONFUSED AND NOW SHE CAN'T HAVE HER WEDDING THERE!! SO SHE IS GOING TO GET MARRIED AT OUR CHURCH!! ONE PROBLEM!!! WE CAN'T HAVE A DJ TO PLAY DISCO AND OLDIES MUSIC AT CHURCH!! ALL THE HALLS AROUND HERE ARE BOOKED UP !! DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS OF WHAT WE CAN DO FOR HER RECEPTION? SHE IS GOING TO DO A SLIDE SHOW OF THE BRIDAL PARTY AND THE BRIDE AND GROOM!! HELP US!!!

Dear Brooke,
I am a little concerned about why she is not able to have her reception at the original site. If a contract was signed, she should be guaranteed to have the prices that were quoted. She needs to check this out further. Anyway, did she ever think of having a reception outside underneath a tent? DJ are able to play music and if you are concerned about weather, you may rent a tent that has side closures on it. Has she checked out any local restaurants that may be interested in allowing her to use a private room for her reception? Any place may be adapted for electricity, you will just need to contact rental places and inquiring what kind of equipment is needed for an outside reception.

Best of luck to your friend,
Amy Mader

I will be getting married in July of 99. Since this is not either of ours first marriage we have decided to have a western wedding. I am having trouble finding decorations for the reception and have looked into numerous sites to find ideas but not much there that I can find. Do you have any suggestions on this theme. We have hired someone to cater the reception but he has never done a western wedding but is checking into a western menu. Any suggestions as far as food? Also if you know of any good sites where I can order a cataloge for decorations? I have found my dress, hat, bridal book, toasting glasses, invitations, garter, cake topper all in the western theme. But as far as decorations goes I am having a hard time. I have looked in party supply stores in my area and there wes western decorations are far and few between. If you know of any where I can order things please let me know. Also any other ideas you have on this theme would be greatly appreciated.

Connie

Dear Connie,
Perhaps you are looking too hard for decorations. Utilize what you have access to. For your centerpieces, use a cowboy boot with fresh flowers or a small bale of hay with flowers on it, use denim fabric for a table cloth or extra draping fabric, and place mints for favors in a little cow boy hat. You may use cowboy hat confetti to spread on the tables (go to a party store and if they have small bags of confetti, they should be e to order this for you). You may have balloons with rope tied to the end (instead of ribbon) and you may have a wooden sign with your names outlin outlined in rope around the cake or guest book table. Your menu may consist of barbeque chicken, beef brisket and ribs with potato salad, rolls, colesl coleslaw and beans. You may then serve iced tea and beer for your guests. I hope this gives you an idea of what you may use for a western theme wedding.

Best Wishes,
Amy Mader

Hi Amy,
I'm so glad to find your web site. My fiance and I decided to get married in May 99'. We found this beautiful place (a beautiful garden) to have our ceremony and reception for May 8 (which is my birthday) but the only time available is 11am-3pm. We prefer an evening reception and do not want a Friday or Sunday wedding, but we love this place and do not want any other place. Do you think the atmosphere of the wedding will still be romantic at this time of the day? Also, since it will be my birthday (I'll be 25 years old) and we both love night party, we thought of inviting our guests to our home after the wedding to celebrate all night long (from 7pm-whatever). Do you think this is appropriate and should we make it known in the invitation? My last question is that since I don't have anyone to throw me a bridal shower (my maid of honor is not self supported financially), is it right for me to throw myself one in my house?

Thanks!
Toni

Dear Toni,
Congratulations on your future wedding. As far as the romantic part of your wedding is concerned, I really would not be concerned about your wedding not being romantic because it is in the day time. I would suggest having a lot of candles with a lot of rose petals scattered around the tables and reception hall. This will achieve the look you are looking for. As for the party afterwards, if everyone invited to the wedding and reception is invited, you may enclose an additional card in the invitation that may say "we hope that you will continue our celebration at our home after the wedding 7pm - ? on (the wedding date). Casual dress (or whatever you decide) fun, dancing and Food and have your names at the bottom. You should not be throwing yourself a shower!!! Who would you invite? Out of that group, someone may throw you a shower. It is not the responsibility of the MOH to fund the entire shower. It is the responsibility of the wedding party members (females). If they are on a tight budget, they may have a "Pass the recipe shower" in which the guests will bring a written copy of their favorite recipe with a (4-5 standard serving of it) for the guests to enjoy. After the party, the bride will have formed a recipe box. It is really fun to do. The wedding party will then only be responsible to provide the drinks, utencils and invitations (and a gift of course). I have done a shower like this before and we were able to have a shower done for $25.00 per person in the wedding party (6 members) and we also did party favors. If a person agrees to be in a wedding, they are agreeing to all that is entailed in the process. You may offer your home for the wedding party to use as a nice gesture.

Best of Luck,
Amy Mader

I would like to know if any rituals or traditions exist with ring pillows.

Unfortunately, I am unaware of any rituals that are done with the ring pillows. I do know that the ringbearer carries the rings (usually fake ones are on the pillow). The ringbearer is a small attendant who used to carry the bride's train (English Page boy) or in France they used to carry lighted candles on the side of the bride. In the past, trains were traditionally long and the page boys had a definite job to do. However, since the trains have decreased in size, this boy was given a ring to carry. Children are a symbol of the beginning of life like a marriage is the beginning of a life of the bride and groom. It is wonderful to borrow a pillow or use one that is passed on through the generations. Some families have even sewn grandparents handkerchiefs on the pillow as a sentimental gesture. The ring bearer pillow is used for the cermony and then may be displayed at the reception by the guest book.

Amy Mader

The wedding party includes a baby bride and groom (7year old children). Do they enter just before the bride and her father walk down the aisle? And where do they stand at the altar?

Dear Irene,
Yes the minature bride and groom do enter before the bride and her father do. They should stand in front of the honour attendants or they may sit in the front row if they would like to.

Best of Luck,
Amy Mader

Hi Amy,
Actually, I am writing you about someone else's wedding. A good friend of mine has asked me to do a reading in his wedding in late July, and I am finding myself a bit, uh, stuck. I am uncomfortable with most of the Bible readings I have seen so far, and I am failing miserably at writing my own reading.

So, can you help by just pointing me in the direction of possible reading lists? I am hoping that if I can find enough selections I can find the perfect one, so I would appreciate any suggestions that you may have for me.

Thank you,
John Rodriguez

Dear John,
You may go to my website www.weddingwire.com at the Home Page click on Tips and Information and then click on Wedding Poems. Here you will find a selections of poems and readings that may be used at a wedding.

Good Luck,
Amy Mader

Amy,
My fiance and I are small town country folks that would like to have a country wedding. The ceremony is not going to be one of those large, formal gatherings. We want something simple, like us.

We heard about a ceremony called "A Cowboy Wedding," where the ceremony wasn't the traditional words said by the minister, but more countrified; if you know what I mean. My question is: have you heard the ceremony? If so, do you know where I can get a copy of it? It would suit us perfectly!

I would appreciate any input, or other suggestions, that you may have. Thank you for your time and assistance.

Jessica Lane

Dear Jessica,
I have heard of the ceremony that you are speaking about, however, I do not have a copy of it. The bride and groom wore country western clothing and the ceremony was a traditional type ceremony (do you etc) but there were certain changes added (ie. we would welcome all the cowboys and ladies to this hitchin' etc). The bride arrived in a horse drawn carriage and carried dried flowers. The guests wore country outfits and the reception had country western dance instructors there teaching. The napkins were bandanas, and the centerpieces were old cowboy boots with fresh flowers inside of them and the tables cloths were denim fabric. The menu was ribs, brisket, chicken, potato salad, beans and ice tea. The cake was in the shape of a horseshoe with a oak form underneath it.

I hope some of these ideas help.
Amy Mader

Dear Amy,
My fincee's parents are divorced. His mother is remarried, while his father just has a steady girlfriend. About a week ago we told is father that we wanted him in the front pew of the church where the parents sit but we did not want is girlfriend to sit with him. He was mad because we also told that his mother's husband would be sitting with her because it is a different situation. Last night he told us that he wanted to sit in the second row with his girlfriend, and this made both of us upset. He also said the reason he was doing this is because he read in an etiquette book that if the parents are divorced then the father is supposed to sit in the second row. Is this true? If not, is it right to let his girlfriend in the front with him?

I love your web site it has answered so many of my questions. Thank you.

Dear Brenda,
Give one to your father in law. He is correct. The proper etiquette for seating in this type of situation is the mother and her husband will be in the first row with her parents (if there are any) and the father and his girlfriend must sit in the second row with his parents (if there are any). To have them both sit in the front row would not only imply that they are still married, but would be a major wedding no no.

Amy Mader

A co-worker of mine had a big wedding last month and invited me. I am getting married this August but am have a small wedding, close friends and family only. I am inviting others from work and feel I should invite my co-worker who just got married because they invited me to their wedding. I don't know him that well. Am I obligated to invite him?

Dear Candace,
You are not obligated to invite him to the wedding (but if you do not know him that well, why were you invited to his wedding?). However, if he is the only one from your work group not being invited, may I suggest that you do invite him. It would be a cordial thing to do. If you have a small select group of friends being invited from work (1-3 couples) then you do not have to invite him. You will just acknowledge that although you wish you could invite everyone, your small wedding will not allow it.

Amy Mader

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